For love, I've gone to the point of almost losing myself. I was doing so many things to make my relationship work, that I was becoming someone I didn't know or like very much.
Was it worth it? Hell no. I mean, I still love him. I still miss him. But I love myself more, and I was losing me. I won't go there again.
I love a man for who he is....I want a man to love me the same way.
Loving a man for who he is hard to do. When we are ready to settle for what ever reason we decide, this is it. This is the one. Never saw those little signs that say hello he doesn't feel the same and there we go pouring our all into it cause he'll come around right? A couple of good times here and there giving you false hope. So gone! Reality check now this is my I want statement. I want to recognize and accept real love heading in my direction. Reality how this ends up is all on me.
I have, on several occassions, wondered what it might be like to love a man wholeheartedly and with commitement of putting him on top of the list, right after God, and my relationship with God.
And so, two years ago, I met a man, that was strong, passionate about his work and loved the Lord. I was whipped, and I don't mean sexually, he had me completely, without reservation, emotionally connected to him. We never had sex, just a few 'feel-up feel-up' excursions remiscent of High School innocent encounters. And for two years, while he was telling me he was so busy, he still made time for long telephone calls, that only served the purpose of pulling me further into his emotional trap. Now bare in mind, this man lived in DC, and I lived in Chicago, and yet I was foolish enough to believe that we would one day be together, when in reality we had only met 3 times in person, but I was whipped emotionally, and gave two years of my life, over the phone, to this strong black man whom, I honestly can't say he had bad intentions, but he lead me on, and I allowed it. I certainly gave too much for love, that in reality had no real substance.
I bought into a fantasy, and life is too short for 2 year fantasy rides. I am enthusiastic about the furture of meeting that special someone. The two years wasn't in vain, I learnt a lot about myself, I learnt that I could really love someone, that was something I never thought I could really do. I learnt that I was caring and I learnt that I had strength to make the right decisions.
For Love, or what I thought was love at the time, I have gone through almost everything. I lost over 50lbs and joined the Air Force at the age of 18 to be with him so we could be stationed together. After I got half way through tech school, after basic, I found out I was going home because of my asthma.
I got home a month later. It was a huge culture shock. I thought he would be there for me. In the next two years he called me only twice from Italy, where he was stationed.
At the end of those two years, I found that he had been cheating on me the whole time I had been at home graduating and working soo hard to get in the military to be with him; which is what he said that he wanted.(Not that I already hadn't figured that one out!) I had made the ultimate sacrifice for him. It was a real eye-opener, let me tell ya! Then he thinks that an apology on his leave will make it all go away-for him maybe not me.
I have never had a relationship since him, but my point of this is just how much we can lose ourselves in trying to make someone else happy. Don't hold onto that hope that they will be there in the end, if they loved you they never would have left you...
Hi , Its me Ali Barakat from Jordan , i'm M.A student in English Literature and mainly interested in Black Women Drama . Plz if you can send me an e-texts of your plays i will be indebted to you ( ali_abedaziz@yahoo.com)
HI dear , I'm Ali it seems that ye forgot me plz try to read my e-mails coz i've started writing my thesis and ye may attend as visting black woman playwright
Great commentary, however, as the couple contemplating divorce, the wife was right to pick up the Bible. We have gotten so far off center, the Bible is just a book we carry, and don’t value it’s contents. Why do we continue to try and make our spirituality a black “thing”. Some African Americans don’t believe in this so called JESUS. The relationship between man and women was damaged from the beginning. Women made a choice to exercise authority over man, and not operate with-in their gentleness and all God made them to be.
They go to church, sing in the choir, work on the usher board, and still having premarital sex and ALL THE ABOVE. The women are asking God to send the men back to church. And the men are saying why should we go? If we/men wait long enough, we can sleep with them after they finish their Godly obligation. People just don’t fear God anymore, if they did, we wouldn’t have some of the issues we are experiencing today. Christian people would be afraid to be in a sexual relationship with someone who isn’t their spouse.
Women you will never find happiness in a relationship until you discover who you are and how wonderfully you are made. God did not intend for his daughters to give their precious bodies to someone undeserving. The panacea for relationships between man and women, is the Bible, you have to have someone willing to cast into the deep.
What is a healthy relationship with a good man, for a Christian women? Is it, letting him touch anywhere he wants before or after Church.
) the report stipulates that electrical energy accounts for 44 percent of the total water production costs of a typical membrane seawater desalination. Following the publicity on the market several "no waste water concept" of product analysis, the purpose of this paper is based grind through the media, Bibi Whose water is a real no-no water, whose skillful and who better able to withstand the test of the market, even invites manufacturers, distributors and consumers understand the essence of the problem, do not do taken for a ride, do not waste your money. Anaerobic sludge is obtained from the anaerobic treatment tank of the plant and mixed with food waste, grass, or wastepaper.
As a seasoned speaker, I have addressed many corporate, community and college audiences. I am a magna cum laude graduate of the University of Detroit with a B.A. in communications.
My articles have been published in The Washington Post, The Washington Times, and other publications. My plays have been seen on stages around the country, including New York, California, and Washington DC.
I am the author of Between Black Women: Listening With The Third Ear; the acclamined children's book, Tambourine Moon; and Private Lessons: A Book Of Meditations For Teachers.
81 Comments:
At April 11, 2006 6:45 PM,
Me said…
For love, I've gone to the point of almost losing myself. I was doing so many things to make my relationship work, that I was becoming someone I didn't know or like very much.
Was it worth it? Hell no. I mean, I still love him. I still miss him. But I love myself more, and I was losing me. I won't go there again.
I love a man for who he is....I want a man to love me the same way.
At July 16, 2006 11:49 PM,
sunee said…
Loving a man for who he is hard to do. When we are ready to settle for what ever reason we decide, this is it. This is the one. Never saw those little signs that say hello he doesn't feel the same and there we go pouring our all into it cause he'll come around right? A couple of good times here and there giving you false hope. So gone! Reality check now this is my I want statement. I want to recognize and accept real love heading in my direction. Reality how this ends up is all on me.
At June 18, 2007 11:40 PM,
Anonymous said…
I have, on several occassions, wondered what it might be like to love a man wholeheartedly and with commitement of putting him on top of the list, right after God, and my relationship with God.
And so, two years ago, I met a man, that was strong, passionate about his work and loved the Lord. I was whipped, and I don't mean sexually, he had me completely, without reservation, emotionally connected to him. We never had sex, just a few 'feel-up feel-up' excursions remiscent of High School innocent encounters. And for two years, while he was telling me he was so busy, he still made time for long telephone calls, that only served the purpose of pulling me further into his emotional trap. Now bare in mind, this man lived in DC, and I lived in Chicago, and yet I was foolish enough to believe that we would one day be together, when in reality we had only met 3 times in person, but I was whipped emotionally, and gave two years of my life, over the phone, to this strong black man whom, I honestly can't say he had bad intentions, but he lead me on, and I allowed it. I certainly gave too much for love, that in reality had no real substance.
I bought into a fantasy, and life is too short for 2 year fantasy rides. I am enthusiastic about the furture of meeting that special someone. The two years wasn't in vain, I learnt a lot about myself, I learnt that I could really love someone, that was something I never thought I could really do. I learnt that I was caring and I learnt that I had strength to make the right decisions.
At September 18, 2007 1:40 AM,
Anonymous said…
For Love, or what I thought was love at the time, I have gone through almost everything. I lost over 50lbs and joined the Air Force at the age of 18 to be with him so we could be stationed together. After I got half way through tech school, after basic, I found out I was going home because of my asthma.
I got home a month later. It was a huge culture shock. I thought he would be there for me. In the next two years he called me only twice from Italy, where he was stationed.
At the end of those two years, I found that he had been cheating on me the whole time I had been at home graduating and working soo hard to get in the military to be with him; which is what he said that he wanted.(Not that I already hadn't figured that one out!) I had made the ultimate sacrifice for him. It was a real eye-opener, let me tell ya! Then he thinks that an apology on his leave will make it all go away-for him maybe not me.
I have never had a relationship since him, but my point of this is just how much we can lose ourselves in trying to make someone else happy. Don't hold onto that hope that they will be there in the end, if they loved you they never would have left you...
At September 21, 2007 9:58 AM,
Anonymous said…
Ali said
Hi , Its me Ali Barakat from Jordan , i'm M.A student in English Literature and mainly interested in Black Women Drama . Plz if you can send me an e-texts of your plays i will be indebted to you ( ali_abedaziz@yahoo.com)
At October 08, 2007 2:19 PM,
Anonymous said…
HI dear , I'm Ali it seems that ye forgot me plz try to read my e-mails coz i've started writing my thesis and ye may attend as visting black woman playwright
Waiting ur quick reply
At August 01, 2008 7:33 PM,
Robert said…
Dear Joy Jones,
Great commentary, however, as the couple contemplating divorce, the wife was right to pick up the Bible. We have gotten so far off center, the Bible is just a book we carry, and don’t value it’s contents. Why do we continue to try and make our spirituality a black “thing”. Some African Americans don’t believe in this so called JESUS. The relationship between man and women was damaged from the beginning. Women made a choice to exercise authority over man, and not operate with-in their gentleness and all God made them to be.
They go to church, sing in the choir, work on the usher board, and still having premarital sex and ALL THE ABOVE. The women are asking God to send the men back to church. And the men are saying why should we go? If we/men wait long enough, we can sleep with them after they finish their Godly obligation. People just don’t fear God anymore, if they did, we wouldn’t have some of the issues we are experiencing today. Christian people would be afraid to be in a sexual relationship with someone who isn’t their spouse.
Women you will never find happiness in a relationship until you discover who you are and how wonderfully you are made. God did not intend for his daughters to give their precious bodies to someone undeserving. The panacea for relationships between man and women, is the Bible, you have to have someone willing to cast into the deep.
What is a healthy relationship with a good man, for a Christian women? Is it, letting him touch anywhere he wants before or after Church.
Robert,
At June 22, 2014 12:51 PM,
Anonymous said…
) the report stipulates that electrical energy accounts for 44 percent of the total water production costs of a typical membrane seawater desalination. Following the publicity
on the market several "no waste water concept" of product analysis, the purpose of this paper
is based grind through the media, Bibi Whose water is a real no-no water, whose skillful and who better
able to withstand the test of the market, even invites
manufacturers, distributors and consumers understand
the essence of the problem, do not do taken for
a ride, do not waste your money. Anaerobic sludge is obtained from
the anaerobic treatment tank of the plant and mixed with food waste, grass, or wastepaper.
Here is my web page - blogaja.com; ,
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