Saturday, June 04, 2016
Men want love and affection. But what is more paramount - Men want RESPECT.
Men are hawk-eyed when it comes to noting if a woman's behavior shows him high regard or subtle contempt. Here are the some of the signs of hidden weapons of mass destruction that men look for. And here are the ways women can be a King-MAKER and not a King-KILLER.
King-KILLER - Imply he is not intelligent
King-MAKER - Instead ask for his opinion and give him your confidence
King-KILLER - Imply that you are superior to him at a moral or spiritual level
King-MAKER - Instead, compliment his wisdom and tell him the things you love about him
King-KILLER - Boss him around
King-MAKER - Instead ask for his opinion and give him your confidence
King-KILLER - Make fun of him, put him down (especially in public)
King-MAKER - Instead smile, laugh, make eye contact, get in a good mood and create harmony for a winning partnership
Black women in the Millennial and soon-to-follow 'Alpha' generation are being taught not to embrace the traditional marriage paradigm. More and more women are being coached on how to survive WITHOUT a man. There are also fewer and fewer black female role models out here teaching our young women the ethereal wisdom of how exactly how to love and respect the Black man and help to (re)-build the community. As a result, the future and definition of the black family as we've come to know it is in a full state of arrest.
LaFayette Trawick is a blogger, freelance writer, and CEO/Founder of Claiming Ignorance; a co-ed Mentoring and Family Advocacy consortium
Sunday, May 29, 2016
WHAT IF SHE EARNS MORE MONEY THAN HER MAN? + DISRESPECTING THE BLACK MAN (aka Hiroshima) Part I by Lafayette Trawick
Friday, March 11, 2016
March for Money
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Wednesday, February 12, 2014
Telephone Sex
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Sunday, October 20, 2013
Unattached Sisters - If You'd Like to Find Love Post-50 Here are some tips from a man's perspective by Tony King
Make it a priority
Tell a few of your true friends that sharing your life with a man you are compatible with is important to you. Let them know it’s the lifestyle you’d prefer and that you enjoy a man’s company and friendship.
Please Stop Saying You Don’t Need a Man!
Human beings are natural pair bonders. It’s in our DNA. Saying you need a man to both compliment you and to complement your life is not a sign of weakness; it is actually a sign of strength and emotional wellness.
If you want a man’s friendship.
If you want a man’s companionship.
If you want to have sex with a man.
Then, you NEED a man!
And, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that.
Be Friendly and Smile
Wherever you are and whatever you are doing; be it standing at the checkout line in a grocery store or networking at a function for your job, make it a point to smile and speak to men. Don’t just greet your gal pals. And, don’t be afraid to extend your hand and introduce yourself. Many men would be relieved if you break the ice this way. And, believe me, if you get it started, the brothers will get it finished.
Get Out of Your Standard Routine
Still do and enjoy activities that you truly like but try a few new places. But, not with too many female friends in tow. Men in their 50s looking for love don’t mind approaching 2 women sitting together chatting at an event but they probably don’t want to deal with a sorority of 4 or more in trying to get acquainted with someone new. So, find yourself at the Black College Football Classic whether it’s your college or not; whether you went to college or not. Get out there and get noticed. And, bring you’re A-game. Tasteful jeans and heels will get the right men noticing. I’ve seen lots of sisters in their 50s that are fine and will give the younger women a run for their money.
Remember that Time is of the Essence
If we look at the human life cycle as quarters in a football game, when you hit 50 you are solidly in the third quarter.
0 – 19 1st Quarter – (growing up, going through primary and high school)
20 – 39 2nd Quarter – (college, career, marriage or family or both, finding out who you are)
40 – 59 3rd Quarter – (solid life experiences, more confidence, knowing who you are)
60 – 80 4th Quarter (the winding down phase, enjoying the fruits of your labor)
81 and beyond (Overtime – Bonus quarter – enjoying the blessing of a life well lived)
So, at 50, and in the 3rd quarter of life, how do you want the remainder of your life to be?
If sharing your life with a compatible man would be a happier and more fulfilling lifestyle for you then you need to be proactive in making that happen!
Sunday, September 15, 2013
Why Love After 50 is Important to Black Men by Tony King
Black men and Black women appear to be the most unattached group in America. According to the 2010 U.S. Census, 41% of African American men have never been married while 43% of African American women have never walked down the aisle or to the judge's chambers for a marriage license.
For younger adults, this has its own set of ramifications, but what about adults pass age 50? Although going solo may have seemed great in your 20s, 30s and 40s - although that's debatable since most people that entered and maintained healthy marriages at those stages of their lives are now typically healthier and wealthier than those who are post-50 and never married. Nonetheless, is staying single the best lifestyle for you when you are in your 50s and beyond?
From my Black male perspective (and from the men I know) it definitely is not! We (Black men) want to be romantically connected with a compatible woman at this stage of our lives because it makes life more enjoyable and rewarding. And, yes, it is about sexual intimacy, but it's also about so much more. It's also about companionship, friendship, and sharing life's journey. And, to share that journey with someone who has experienced life herself.
Although the Hollywood myth-makers would have you believe that most men in their 50s would want 20 or 30-somethings, that's not necessarily true outside the world of the Donald Trumps and other Millionaire-types that like to dangle their young trophy wives for display at the country club. And don't get me wrong, we see our 50-something wives, lady friends, or life partners as trophies too. But, we also want and need them as confidantes and best friends that bring a perspective to life that one can only get by living 50 years or more. Truth is, most mature men prefer to date and marry someone close to their age.
Besides, many black women in their fifties are keeping themselves fit and sexy as they age. Just check out fitness guru, Donna Richardson, who's hot and fabulous at 56 and or broadcast journalist Gayle King who's 58 and still turning heads. Women that are 50 and beyond today look younger and tend to be more fit than the 50-somethings of yester-year. So it's a whole new ballgame for relationships.
If it is, what are we doing to make it happen?
Tony King is an Information Technology Professional. He resides in metro Dallas, Texas.
Wednesday, June 05, 2013
Is There A Father In The House?
When I tell people that my mother and father are married - to each other - and for the past 60 years - I get the following reactions: You're lucky, That's great, For real? I'm jealous.
It appears that many adults wish they had spent their childhood with a dad in the house even as they find it nearly impossible to build the kinds of relationships that will allow their kids to experience childhood with a mother and father residing harmoniously together under one roof.
Since June is the month when we think about fathers, I discuss the conditions in the community that I believe need to be present for fathers to best bestow their blessings. "Is A Father In the Home Like A Rotary Phone: Out-dated, Old-fashioned, Old-school?" appears in the new launch of the award-winning web site www.BlackAndMarriedWithKids.com.
Check it out.
Check it out.
Then tell me what you think.